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By Ava Pennington—
The older I get, the more I enjoy watching a few of the retro-television channels. A few years ago, a television station aired episodes from a ’60s program called The Dick Van Dyke Show. Remember that one? The airings were in honor of the series’ 50th anniversary.
It’s fun to watch old programs that chronicle a simpler time. Valuing faith and family was the norm, and right and wrong were clearly defined – or at least more clearly identified than they are today. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t look at that time as the “good old days.” There was a lot wrong about those days, too.
Still, we laugh now at the crises highlighted on some of the programs from the 50s and early 60s. Father Knows Best, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Leave it to Beaver – simple shows that are the video equivalent of comfort food. Nothing controversial. Bud had a crush on a girl at school. Laura dyed her hair blonde. Beaver feared a visit to the dentist. Not exactly earthshattering topics.
Yet decades later, I still recall the best analogy about marriage I ever heard, and it came from an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show. In this particular episode, Rob Petrie has a conversation with a friend who boasts about his playboy lifestyle. The friend insisted that marriage is nothing more than a relational prison. Rob thinks about it for a moment, and then responds. I don’t have the precise quote, but the following is a paraphrase:
“To some people, the boundaries of marriage are like the fence around a prison. The fence keeps everything that is good and pleasurable outside – out of reach. But to me, the boundaries of marriage are like the fence surrounding Disneyland. That fence holds in everything that is good, fun, enjoyable, and pleasurable.”
This doesn’t mean every marriage or every spouse is perfect. Far from it. At times I share Ruth Bell Graham’s view of marriage and divorce. When asked by a reporter if she had ever considered divorcing Billy Graham, her answer was, “Divorce? No. Murder? Yes.” I can appreciate Ruth’s response, and I’m sure my husband has felt the same way about me on occasion!
But marriage isn’t just a good idea. It’s a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. We are promised to Him (II Corinthians 11:2). The church is referred to as the “bride of Christ” (Revelation 19:7; 21:9; 22:17). Finally, this relationship is eternal –we will be with Him forever (I Thessalonians 4:17).
Rob Petrie may be a fictional character, but perhaps if more of us took Rob’s view of marriage, we’d be less likely to fall for “the grass is always greener” syndrome. And maybe, until we get to heaven, we’d find ourselves spending less time in prison and more time in Disneyland.
“Let marriage be held in honor among all…” (Hebrews 13:4 ESV).
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Ava Pennington is thoroughly enjoying her second career as an author, teacher, and speaker. Originally from New York City, she relocated after a 20-year corporate career as a Human Resources executive. But don’t call her retired. In addition to writing and speaking, she teaches a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) class of 150+ women from September through May each year.
Her newest book, Daily Reflections on the Names of God: A Devotional, is published by Revell and endorsed by Kay Arthur, founder of Precepts Ministries International. Ava has also written articles for magazines such as Power for Living, Called, and Christianity Today’s Christian Woman. She has been published in 25 anthologies, including 18 Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
Ava is grateful for her husband, Russ, their marriage of 35+ years, and their home in south Florida. She is a passionate speaker and teacher, and delights in challenging audiences with relevant, enjoyable presentations. For more information, visit www.AvaWrites.com or contact her at Ava@AvaWrites.com.
Love it Ava. As one who works with marriages in crisis I will say that those of us who have healed and saved our marriages share Rob Petrie’s view. The grass is greener–where you water it. Thanks for some welcome and true words to consider.
Thank you, Mona. You’re right – we need to spend more time watering our own lawns!