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Monthly Humor Column by Kathy Carlton Willis—
Curvy Girl
I learned something new today. I thought I was a curvy girl. But evidently there’s curvy, and then there’s curvy. I bid on a pair of “new-with-tags” slacks from an online auction. I got a great price on them. But there’s one problem. I would have to wear them sideways to make them work for me. My curves are in the front, and these are on the side. I guess it was designed for the gal with saddlebags in mind.
Perhaps truth in advertising would just be too cruel for the commercial. I can see it now. New! Just for you! Saddlebag pants. If you don’t have junk in your trunk or jelly in your belly, but your meals went straight from lips to hips, then these trousers are for you. Flaunt those curves, gal.
Products imitate us (or mock us!). Where do you think jodhpurs came from?
But then there’s me. What would the commercial say? Do you have to buy a size up because your tummy hasn’t been tucked? Do you find your pants are too short because it takes more material to stretch across your mid section? You need the new line of Apple Slackers. And maybe if I was more of an apple snacker I wouldn’t need apple slackers!
There’s one curve that’s always fashionable. The upward curve of a smile. It’s the only truly one-size-fits-all fashion that fits every occasion, every season, every age, every every!
A smile doesn’t need advertisement, it doesn’t need purchased, but I do recommend you try one on for size. And try one on for sighs too. Guaranteed to turn your groans into grins.
And now you know the rest of the story behind “Grin with Kathy.” I finally found something that fits!
“When they were discouraged, I smiled at them. My look of approval was precious to them “ Job 29:24 NLT.
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Kathy Carlton Willis: Kathy writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Not many funny girls also have Bible degrees! As a pastor’s wife, she has plenty of material for her new Grin with Kathy column at MPN. She has four books coming out in the next couple of years: Speaker to Speaker, Grin with Grace, Grin with Joy, and Grin with Peace. She’s affiliated with several Christian writer and speaker organizations and serves as a consultant for others in the publishing industry. Kathy anticipates great things for her 50s (despite the menopause monster), and is pursuing God’s goals with gusto as she dives in to this glorious decade. Kathy’s tagline captures her essence: Light & Lively: His Reflection/Her Laughter. Learn more about Kathy at: www.kathycarltonwillis.com/
I think they need to add “Do you wiggle into your jeans by tugging on your beltloops? Our reinforced beltloops are guaranteed not to rip after countless tuggings?” and possibly “You’ll always wear a smaller size with us – because numbers matter!” (Seriously, why not make an actual 14 a 12? But isn’t that the way we want all of life?!)
That’s funny, Angela! We could come up with a whole breed of commercials, couldn’t we? There’s FUNNY in the truth in advertising! 😀
Kathy- I’m one of those Curvy Gals- yes the one who got all hips and nothing else !
I was thrilled for pants that fit my “pear shaped ” body- yes saddlebags!
But that’s the way the King made me so I go with it, He makes no mistakes 🙂
And yes the best curve is a smile , grin and bear it! At 50 years old I have long learned
It’s not what’s on the outside that counts it’s your heart in side .
Thank you for your encouraging posts and for sharing humor along
the way ! Bless you my Twitter friend
Kellie, it’s funny—what started this whole “spiel” is that the label on those pants said, “curvy.” I assumed that meant they had a generous cut, and I have a generous gut so figured it’d be a fit. WRONG. That’s when I realized the different KINDS of curvy! I think women should celebrate all their various shapes and sizes and just be the healthiest version they can be. That’s what I’m striving for, anyway. As you say, “He makes no mistakes.” I’m living proof of that. Even the stuff the doctors would call anomalies, I know God calls them “on purpose”!
This is the best ever, Kathy! “Junk in your trunk, jelly in your belly, apple slacker, apple snacker”–you got me laughing so hard I can count it as exercise!
Wearing a fashionably fitting smile because of you. 🙂
As you can imagine, I had fun with it! I grinned when the label said “curvy.” You could actually draw the outline of the bottom half of an hourglass to trace the silhouette of these “curvy” slacks. I tried them on and it looked like I had on jodhpurs. Russ cracked up! So that’s when I decided, evidently there’s “curvy” (meaning hippy) and then there’s “curvy” (meaning apple shaped). Needless to say, these slacks were for a different kind of curvy girl, so I gave them away!
Super funny (though not super-sized) thought for the day, Kathy! Sending you a great big smile!
Hally, thanks for sending the smile back my way. As you know, I like to grin! 😀
You. Crack. Me. UP! Thanks, Kathy, for making me smile today. Love your whole GRIN concept.
Dawn, so glad you’re enjoying this column. I definitely get to live a lot of experience to use as fodder. Glad I could pass along a grin!