Beauty and the Beast

by Karen DeArmond-Gardner

 

As a senior in high school, I attended our Mother Daughter Tea with my mom. At one point,  I looked up just in time to see my friend, Denise, and her mom walk in. Both were tall and lean, both were wearing mini-skirts. You could hear the gasp of surprise around the room from all the mothers, including mine, clearly appalled that this mother was in a mini-skirt. I mean really…she had the gall to show up at this special event, a formal tea – in a mini skirt? Trust me; she could totally pull it off. At that moment I made a vow to myself as I looked at all the mothers in the room. “I would rather look like her when I grow up than look like them.” I will admit this is one vow I have never repented.

The fashion review continued, when I was in my early 50’s my mother told me, “You just don’t want to dress your age!”

Of course my response “and what would that be what, Mom? Elastic waist polyester pants with a baggy sweater”?

50+ = frumpy apparently.

I am not saying we ought to dress like a teenager. We have all seen her and trust me; it is not a pretty sight. But who says when you get to a certain age you can’t look and dress for success?

If we’re honest with ourselves, we all judge a book by its cover, even though we know we shouldn’t. Women are the worst at judging what other women are wearing (you know it’s true). We sometimes wonder if some women have friends. Surely a friend would tell you to look yourself in the mirror from all sides before you walk out the door.

This I know from experience. I was in my late 30’s, dressed for work, thinking I looked great. It was one of those days I so felt good in what I was wearing. I was confident and carried myself well, until I got home that night and caught a glance of myself in the mirror. And there it was…a run in my black nylons as wide as a river up the back of my leg. All day, I’m telling myself that others were thinking “She looks really great.” what they were really thinking was, “Poor thing, doesn’t she have any friends?”

I recall seeing gorgeous, curvy Sophia Loren in a movie when I was a teen and she was in her 50’s. Every eye was on her from the moment she entered the room with her head held high commanding all the attention. I can remember thinking, “I’d like to be able to do that at 50.” And here I am, with what seemed like little warning, smack dab in the middle of it.

Do I want the perfect body? Yes I do, we all do. Do I have a perfect body? No, I am soft and curvy. Do I have flaws and wrinkles? Certainly. Add to that the random hair that sprouts on my face. Why is it I always find it when I am in the car with no tweezers or after I come home and take off the make up? There it is. What is with that?

Through the years I became a master of disguise, like smoke and mirrors in a magic show. Now you see it, now you don’t. I used clothes, shoes, hair and makeup to create a ’perfect’ picture. Only I knew what lies underneath. Yes, my husband knows and loves me anyway.

Honestly, I am not trying for perfection…that is way too much work and would require plastic surgery, which I am not willing to do even if I had the money. But here is the real lesson I have learned: it is not about the outside. The outside reflects what is on the inside. It’s about allowing the beauty on the inside to be visible on the outside. We have all met that drop dead gorgeous woman who opened her mouth and the bitterness in her heart came flowing out and she turned into The Beast.

Before I could accept how God sees me I first had to see how I saw myself. In January 2010, I attended on class on “Helping others find freedom”. At the end of the class we were to ask ourselves, “God what do you want to say to me?”

He answered, “Beautiful.”

“Beautiful, really?”

I admit I was disappointed. I was hoping for something more than what I looked like. Then he showed me a picture of a woman standing with her hands lifted as high as she could. As I walked to my car Father gently removed the veil from my eyes so I could see how I saw ME. What I saw was The Beast: this horrific, terrible, ugly Beast.

But God had spoken “beautiful.” When God speaks, His words come to life. As I stood in the parking lot, tears streamed down my face. And the word He had spoken…Beautiful, took on life and destroyed The Beast.

For the first time in my life, I accepted how God saw me. The Beast died and The Beauty flourished. Who would have thought I could be more beautiful today then I was in my 20’s, 30’s or 40’s? I may be a little unrealistic; the point is I feel more beautiful than I ever have in my life. Do I still have days when I don’t like what I see in the mirror or change my outfit 3 times before I walk out the door? Yes, I do. I want to reflect on the outside, what I know on the inside. I am His beautiful daughter.

My life is not over because I am in my 50‘s. In fact it’s better than ever. Who knew that I would have a career in my 50’s? Or decide to write in my 50’s? Or the best yet…get married and act like a newlywed in my 50’s?

I thought my life was over. I believed I messed it up so much that even God could not put it back together again. How wrong I was. God promised to do a “new thing” in my life and I had no idea what that would look like. I could not have planned this even if I wanted to.

Are you over 50? Do you feel as though you have no purpose in life? Then ask Father what “new thing” He wants to purpose in and through you. Put down the remote, get off the couch. Yes, now. There are young women out there who need you to be all that God has called you to be, He is not finished with you yet. You have not messed up so bad it can’t be made new and you haven’t waste your life. Our God is the God of Purpose. Just ask Sarah, Moses and Joshua. He waited until they were “experienced” (a much better term then older or mature that I credit to my very dear friend, Cindy) to show them their purpose.

I dare you to dream a little and ask the Father what is…. “My Purpose Now?”

 

Karen DeArmond: I found myself in my early 50′s shattered, divorced and without a job – moving to a new state to begin over again. There were times I thought the “start would stop me.” I had no clue what my purpose was and quite frankly thought I had messed up so bad that even God couldn’t put my life back together again. Within the last 6 years I started a new career, enjoyed being single, became a grandmother, reconnected with my family and at 57 I married the most amazing man ever. Because God never does anything small, He asks me to step out of my box and begin writing. Only God….if He did this for me, He will do it for you. Join us on the journey to discover Your Purpose Now.