By Sharon Ruff –

Perfection has its own voice. It told me my value as a person was directly tied to how I performed. It told me that if I wasn’t faultless, I was worthless. Throughout my life I have heard Perfection’s constantly lying voice inside my head. It had locked me in a performance prison. I always longed to free myself from its grip. So finally, I planned my jail break.

The ticket to my freedom came in a most unexpected way. I decided to take an online class, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” with the well-known author, lecturer, and researcher Dr. Brene Brown. The class was designed to walk you step-by-step through the process of getting free from perfectionism. So, after paying the fee and buying her book, I began my escape.

First, I gathered all the artsy supplies of paints, markers and stickers for the projects that the course required. I was as giddy as kindergartener on the first day of school. I felt liberated just knowing that whatever I created on my new journal pages would be accepted. Nothing would be judged or challenged. Even if they were not perfect.

As I watched the computer screen, I enjoyed seeing Dr. Brown and her friend laughing and sharing stories as they created their first “imperfect” project. But then she smiled into the camera and said, “Now it’s your turn.”  Suddenly in my head, I heard the familiar voice of Perfection telling me I had to discover just how to do the assignment “right.” I froze. I simply sat with my blue marker in my hand staring at that pristine blank journal page. I was paralyzed with perfection.

So, I had no choice. I slammed shut my journal, and headed for the kitchen. Maybe I can think better after a cookie, I reasoned. Oops, forgot to unload the dishwasher. I’ll walk on the treadmill for a few minutes to clear my mind. Probably better check my email. Then I’ll be ready to do that project. Of course, I knew I was stalling. Reluctantly I returned to my office.

Once again I had a stare down with those blank pages. But, for some reason, I suddenly got it. I was able to shut out Perfection’s negative, restricting voice. I gave myself permission to create whatever I wanted to with the paints, markers, and stickers. No rules!  No lines to stay within! Nothing had to match! I sensed my cell door fling open. I was free. The panicky, dying voice of Perfection screamed, Your work won’t be perfect. But God gave me the strength to ignore those words and accept my work as it was, imperfections and all.

Over time I have learned that it takes perseverance to remain free from the ruthless enslaving tyrant of Perfection. Whenever I hear that “voice,” I remember that I hold the prison keys in my hand.

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
(James 4:7b NIV)

 

 

 

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Sharon RuffSharon Ruff: Sharon makes her home in West Michigan near her children and grandchildren. She has been a widow for over a decade after being married for 30 years; fifteen of which were spent caring for her husband who suffered from MS. During those wilderness years of isolation and despair, God gave her hope from Jeremiah 29:11. He also assured her that He would restore the years the locust had eaten. He has since graced her with many opportunities to heal, learn, grow, and serve in women’s ministry through Bible Studies, retreats, conferences and personal ministry. She has also ministered in the Ukraine and Africa at women’s conferences.

6 Comments

  1. 3-23-2015

    “Ruthless enslaving tyrant of Perfection.” Yes. Sigh.
    Freedom in Christ. Yes. Yea!!!

    • 3-23-2015

      AMEN!

  2. 3-23-2015

    Sharon, what a great example of what the perfection monster does in our lives and how to start the process of slaying it. I’m looking forward to sharing this on twitter!

    • 3-27-2015

      Thank you Kathy for your comments…the monster has many heads but awareness is priceless. If we can see it, we can slay it.

  3. 3-23-2015

    Free indeeeeeeed! Oh my, Sharon, could I relate to this post!!! THANK YOUUUUU!

    • 3-27-2015

      I knew there would be folks “out there” who would totally GET IT. Thanks Penny for raising your hand. Good confirmation.

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