Recently we had the pleasure of meeting Kim Ketola. Kim’s ministry focus caught our attention and we immediately felt as though our readers needed to hear from her. Kim has been called to the women who exercised “choice” at some point in their lives and live with the pain of that choice – abortion. This may not be you – but it’s probably someone you know and love. Please share with those who need solace and peace with the issue.
Millions of American women thought they were simply exercising a choice. But after the experience of abortion, they found the spiritual and emotional toll is high. One out of every three American women has had an abortion. And they all think they are the only one. Kim Ketola’s ministry is an outreach for those who never held the baby they thought they didn’t want, but now desperately wish they could have somehow known and loved. She reframes the problem of abortion—beyond politics, medicine, or legal rights—as a spiritual issue within families, and one with lifelong consequences. Ketola’s message offers true encouragement that each heart may be healed and each life made new through the love of God.
By Kim Ketola
“You can’t hide your true colors as you approach the autumn of your life.” ~Author Unknown
There are no words for some of the deep emotions evoked by remembering our lost children after abortion. The silence grows louder alongside dimming hopes of redeeming lost motherhood as our fertility fades.Eventually our hearts as women may feel as pierced and lifeless around the edges as fallen leaves.
Why is this so?
Our worth as women is not defined by our childbearing. Too many fruitful single women who fulfill God’s command to multiply Him in our world attest to the truth that motherhood alone is not what makes you a woman.
Abortion often leaves a lasting feeling of being damaged and devalued as women.
The thing that sets us women apart from all other living creatures is the ability to bear human children. So perhaps an essential element of our individual identity dies off with every abortion. And the cultural acceptance of abortion strips all women of the dignity of our unique role in producing human life.
It took a long time for the truth of this to settle in on me after my abortion at age twenty-three, and even longer to be able to articulate those feelings. The loss of female dignity along with the loss of a child led to a deep sense of hopelessness. I didn’t believe there would ever be relief from the irrevocable reality of being a mother without her young.
These feelings are magnified and multiplied in those women who aborted hoping to “time” the perfect family they hoped for in the future. When time runs out and we find ourselves still childless in the second half of life, many post-abortive women feel utter despair. We wonder if God has judged us unworthy as a punishment for the choice to abort. The merciful forgiveness promised in Christ rings hollow as we suffer with empty arms and a broken heart.
But we are not marred forever.
Take heart in the promise of an end to your sadness even if your season has stretched beyond your ability to measure it in time. Lay hold of the truth: you are not who you once were—you’ve been remade (1 Cor. 5:17). As you find strength to repent and grieve your losses, take time to forgive everyone involved, including yourself. Accept your limitations. And understand that God sent Jesus to save the world and not condemn us (John 3:16-17). And although God is not out to punish us for our sins, sometimes we’re punished by our sins in this lifetime as a natural consequence we simply can’t avoid. We may always miss the child we’ll never know in this life. Yet God in his love has given us Jesus Christ, providing a bridge of heavenly hope as we ponder his loving acceptance of the little ones we rejected. Our children are forever in his care (Matthew 19:14).
Because we are justified as we believe in Christ’s all-sufficient loving sacrifice, we know one day we will see them face to face.
As the summer of your life stretches into fall, ponder the beauty of God’s mercy. By his healing grace, life itself holds the key to healing the loss of all life—even the loss of our children by human hands. Our days of mourning are not without number in the mind of our loving and forgiving Savior, Jesus Christ Our Lord.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8)
AUTHOR BIO: Kim Ketola, host of the weekly broadcast Cradle My Heart Radio, is a writer and speaker with over thirty years’ broadcast experience in producing and hosting programs in Christian and general market formats. Kim’s award-winning book Cradle My Heart, Finding God’s Love After Abortion (Kregel, 2012) features a Foreword by Ruth Graham and reflects Kim’s ministry to help individuals recover from the emotional and spiritual wounds of abortion.
Kim has served as faculty for several national and international conferences including Ruth Graham and Friends and Heartbeat International, and she is a frequent media guest addressing pro-life issues. Tim Pawlenty appointed Kim as chairperson of the MN Governor’s Council on Faith and Community Service Initiatives (2006-2008), and she also serves organizations reaching the homeless, the addict, and those in prison. Visit kimketola.com | cradlemyheart.org/radio | facebook.com/cradlemyheart.